It seems that young men (ages 22+) have forgotten how to go on a DATE for fun. They have fun going golfing or to movies, but it's with each other on what we sisters affectionately term "man dates." That said, what do I do with a 22-year-old socially awkward (in the most absolutely adorable way), workaholic ward clerk who claims he doesn't have time for anything but "man dates" with his best friend?
Dear Waiting,
There are all sorts of things I might say to the men. Okay, there is just one. Gals want to date. Plan a date. Ask a girl. Watch the fireworks (or at least THE FUN) fly.
That said, since you are asking what YOU as a woman can do, there are two options.
Number one. You've gotta send the signals more clearly. If you've detected the slightest hint of interest on his part, then the ball is in your court. Which means, you've gotta get yourself in the game. You know how they start professional ball games? The players don't sneak onto the court. They don't stand behind the basket and play "Is he looking at me?" No way. They arrive with fanfare. They state their names. They come to play, and they play well. Too many ladies enter the court with the presence of an amateur ballet understudy. They wait demurely offstage for a cue, and wonder why they haven't been motioned on court by the coach. In the meantime, everyone on the court is trying to understand what in the world the pink-toed ballerina is doing there, just a-waitin' in the wings of the arena.
The point is, you can't just sit there and wait for him to do everything, and you definitely can't pretend like your playing by dancing a lone ditty in the middle of the court. You've got to get in the game. State your name and get on the court. Speak the language of the sport. Talk the talk. And, in case you were wondering, talking the talk sounds like this: "Hey, you're going bowling with your friends this weekend? Do you have room for a girl in your plans? I'd love to come. " It does NOT sound like this, "Oh, Bowling with your friends? That sounds nice." Puh-lease don't make those poor boys decipher the 'signals' you are so unclearly sending. Save them the headache of translation. Speak their language. Show up to the game and tell them you want to play.
Number Two. You've gotta read the signals more clearly. If you've made a clear move, and the darling boy isn't interested, then let him go. That's it. He just wasn't interested or the timing isn't right or something of the sort. Go gracefully. Let him go gracefully. And get yourself back in the game. After all, there's a whole court of players looking for someone great like you to be on their team.
~Sister McLay
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