Fount of Youth

2009-02-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

The WINNER for

Sister McLay's most recent cooking contest

will be decided partially by number of views.

You can help by clicking her to watch

(then spreading the news via your address book):

I Love My Parents

2008-10-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

My parents are in town! We love when they come to visit—especially when they are BOTH able to come. Our children have been looking forward to it for weeks. And, honestly, so have I.

You see, to borrow a phrase from Nephi, I was ‘born of goodly parents.’ My dad and mom love Jesus Christ and they live according to His gospel. When I was a child, I did not fully appreciate their goodness. Even as an adult, I’m not sure I fully comprehend the blessing of having such wonderful parents. But, my heart swells whenever I consider that God sent me to them. I do not know what I did to deserve such a blessing, but I am eternally grateful.

~Brother McLay

Daily McLay

2008-10-13T08:50:00.001-07:00

Looking for more McLay?

Brooke (aka Sis. McLay) will now be blogging at

ConversationsWithACupcake.blogspot.com

Come on over to discover all the

latest happenings at Chez McLay.

Hot Date Friday

2008-10-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

Our First Date

At EFY, it's inevitable. Someone is going to ask how we met. Or how we fell in love. Or about our first kiss. Well, we may not be the type to kiss and tell...

For those of you hopeless romantics {or the scientific few who enjoy learning about love stories in an effort to construct some understanding of that hazy phenomena called marriage} here is the story of the first time Sir John and Lady Brooke went on an official first date:

Christmas vacation had just begun at BYU. A fine chap had stopped by one evening to meet a fair maiden. The night went well. Conversation was smooth. There was more to talk about. So, he stopped by her humble abode (read: nappy off-campuse housing) the next morningand asked if she'd enjoy an ice skating session that eve. She thought that sounded like a very handsome way to spend her twilight hours. However, two of her little sisters (love you, Britt and Mugs) were visiting. It would be unmannerly to leave them along. She tried to turn down the offer. He persisted. The sisters could come. She sighed {happily} and gave in to his mesmerizing ways. The entire group of them John, Brooke, and little tagalongs enjoyed a black, chilly skate under the stars.

Truth be told, it was rough going for the lady. {She was born sans coordination.} But, the gentleman John skated circles around her {literally} and in no time at all, she'd determined--frozen fingers or no--it was dizzying admiration for this boy.

He held her hand. She held it back. He smiled. She batted eyelashes. He asked if she'd like to go out again the next night. She replied, "Why yes. Why yes indeed," trying not to sound too anxious.

And that next night? Well, it may have something to do with a dainty smooch.

But we'll never tell.

To Do: Get a Date Tonight

2008-10-10T15:55:00.000-07:00

Late Date Friday

2008-10-07T13:23:00.001-07:00

So sorry for the massive delay in postings! It's been a busy week at the McLay home.

We didn't want to miss out on an opportunity to celebrate Hot Date Friday. So...though it's Tuesday, here is a recent Q&A from one of our WONDERFUL readers...

I love my friends. Not bragging, but I have alot of them, and alot of them tend to be boys. They say they feel comfortable around me. Fantastic. I've had feelings for this friend for a time now, but as of late we have become the best of friends. I have never had a friendship like this, where we are both completely honest with our feelings and talk about everything under the sun. We have both expressed that we have had interest in eachother at one time or another, and even talked about the possibility of dating. We go on dates and spend alot of time together, until he announced that he feels even though we were never "officially" dating, he wants to date other people.He actually said he wanted to see me dating someone else to see how it made him feel. I don't know what to do! He still wants to spend time with me as a best friend and relies on me for alot, but I have outsiders telling me that I need to cut the cord- take a break-not even talk for a spell. The thought of that almost KILLS me, seeing as how he is my best friend right now. We are both at a "marriage-worthy" age and I see great potential with him, and we have even talked about how we are both convinced it is a timing issue. Great. When all is said and done, he is wonderful. But is it worth all of this drama?!

Timing is such a peculiar thing. Isn’t it? I think many young adult men (and gals) use timing as the gentle way to say, “I’m just not interested.” Now. There are certainly times when a bit of a delay changes a relationship for the better. But, more often than not, it’s just a soft way to encourage a break up.
In my professional {read: experience from the long-ago dating years} opinion, I would suggest that you take his cue as an invitation to go looking for someone who is more interested in seeing you as marriage material than just someone to pal around with. You want to get married. So you’ve got to stop wasting your time with someone who is playing games, and start seriously searching for the gem of a guy who is interested in playing house.

It will hurt. Yes. You’ll be lonely without his companionship and listening ear. But, it will hurt more to look back on the time together as lost time you could have spent searching for an eternal companion. That said, I may I suggest that you just raise the stakes by anteing up everything you have in a high-honesty conversation with your chum. Just put it out there to him. Say, “I get that you want to be friends. I was hoping for more. So, if you’re ever interested in wooing me—really wooing me—you have my number. Otherwise, I’m off on my merry way to find Mr. Right.” And, while your at it, find a few good girlfriends to keep you company during your search. You’ll never have to lose them, even after you marry your hunka-hunka burning love. ~Sis. M

Any Thoughts?

We'd love to hear. Post a comment, or email us at

mclayfamily@msn.com

Also...

Rhyme Time

2008-10-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

One evening, while lounging in bed, I began thinking upon the morrow. Tomorrow stood before me, bright and beautiful. Wide open and full of promise. I began to imagine all I could do with that empty space that lay before me. Then, I sighed. I'd woken up just that morning with a vast "today" before me. I'd not used it to make immense, lasting changes. I'd not broken out of my box of habitual security, shyness, or worry. I'd been just who I was, rather than rising to who I knew I could be...who I want to be. That night, I penned this prose to remind myself: Today. After all, it is what I do today that determines my tomorrow.

The Diet Starts Tomorrow

How that
Tomorrow
Means so much?
Making plans
For the Woman I will be
When today
I won’t even try

How that
Evening
Brings such hope?
Making plans
For the Woman I will be
In the morning
When the sun
Melts her away

How that
Morning
Comes with forgetting?
Making plans
For who I am today
Rather than
Who I knew I could be
Yesterday

A Season for Youth, Episode 1

2008-09-30T08:06:00.001-07:00

Some years ago, Brother McLay and I began writing a book. I found it this week, tucked away amidst the annals of long-forgotten digital dreams stored on our computer. After re-reading it, we thought of you. After all, we wrote it with you in mind.

One warning: it started as a book, so...it's loooong. With that in mind, we'll be posting pieces of it over the next several weeks.

We Love You. ~Brother & Sister McLay

It is your first day of a new school year. Ahhhh. The excitement buzzes up your backbone, and prickles the roots of your hair. There are new friends to meet, old friends to catch up with, a summer full of memories to gently tuck away, and a year full of memories just waiting to be made. You tuck a crisp, sheet—filled with neat rows listing your first quarter classes—into a clean binder, zip up your nifty, new backpack, and stop in front of the mirror to check out your brand-new-first-day-of-school outfit once more. The new pair of {heavy} jeans you begged your mother for hang perfectly on your hips, and gently brush the tops of the got-to-have shoes that you saved weeks of hard-earned cash to buy. A jaunty sweater completes the ensemble. You look hip. You look hot. You are ready to face the new year of high school. Ready to walk to school in style. Ready to walk into school with style. A deep breath, a slight nod of your head, and you open the door to the outside world.

It is 93 degrees, the middle of August. When you arrive at school, sweaty hair is matted to the sides of your head. You’ve rolled those perfect-fit jeans up to your knees to let some fresh air onto your steaming hot legs. The sweater has been desperately thrown into your backpack, leaving only the old camp T-shirt you’d thrown on underneath. You arrive at school, looking and feeling—well—much cooler than when you left the house.

How easy it is—with the excitement of a grand, new adventure on the way—to look past the season which surrounds you now. Perhaps you have done this very thing on the first day of school. School often begins at the tail-end of summer. But, you have a wardrobe full of new, winter clothes. And, it’s hard to wait until winter to show off your tremendous fashion sense. So, you dive into the pile of new clothes, and suffer uncomfortably through the day in an outfit meant for a season that hasn’t yet arrived.

In the Old Testament, a scripture speaks of seasons. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” Certainly, we see the seasons change around us. They stay for a time, and then silently slip away, letting a new season come for a visit. Spring brings tiny green buds of life, baseball tryouts, and umbrellas. Though, it never is long before the heavy, hot days of summer take over with family reunions, lazy trips to the lake, and giant, cool slices of watermelon. Autumn wisps in with wildfire leaves, jack-o-lantern’s, and nippy nights that are soon covered by winter’s quiet. Soft pillows of snow, fast rides down the ski slopes, and hot cocoa by a hot fire create warm memories while the world waits for spring. Oh, yes—and, finally—black corduroy pants with red turtle-neck sweaters come out from their waiting place…ready to serve in their own season of style.

These four seasons are not the only seasons we experience. The scripture in Ecclesiastes continues by describing some of the other seasons that come during our lifetimes: “A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted…A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:2,4) There is a season to be a child, a student, a teacher, a missionary, a parent, a grandparent. But, right now, it is YOUR season. Your season to be a youth.

Hah?! You say? Time to be a youth? Well, that is absolutely right. It is your season to be a youth. And, have you ever considered that—just as there are times for every season, there are tasks for every season too?

As a young man, or young woman, you are probably well aware of all the things that you should NOT be doing--or the things that you can’t do: You shouldn’t date until you’re sixteen. You can’t drive until you’re sixteen. Once sixteen, there are no one-on-one dates, curfews end at midnight (or sooner), and don’t even think about having your very own super-fast, super-sleek car to drive down the boulevard. Yes, you know well all of the things that you can’t do. But do you realize all of the things that you should be doing at this time of your life? All of the things that you need to do in this season, to prepare for the seasons to come?

President Gordon B. Hinckley once wrote, “Youth is the season to set directions for life.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Youth is the Season,” New Era, Sept. 1988, 44). This season of youth is not a time of no-no’s. It is not a season of waiting. It is a season of setting directions for your life. Do you realize that? All the choices that you make now, all of the things that you decide to do, are actually creating you. Right now, in this time of youth—you may be turning down invitations to a formal dance because you are only fifteen, but you are also tuning yourself to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. You may be leaving the fun at 11:45 p.m. but you are also letting God guide your decisions—and your footsteps—to a holier (and happier) path, a path that He has laid our just for you. You may be holding out on hand holding, but you are also upholding the standards which a loving Heavenly Father has put in place for your temporal and spiritual safety.

In all of this waiting--and as you are creating YOU--during this season of your life, one of the greatest temptations is to do things too early. It may be August, but there are some great new clothes just waiting in the closet. Rather than wait for a brisk autumn day, you want to wear your winter wardrobe now. Being a youth is no different. Only, rather than peering into a closet full of out-of-season clothing, you are peeking into your future. There are so many things to come: single dates with someone who sees you for the sensational person you are, a bent knee, a romantic proposal, a white wedding, a friend to whom you will be wedded forever.

With so much awaiting you, it is easy to want to skip ahead to the next season—to live in August, while wearing winter clothing. But, skipping ahead also means skipping out. President Spencer W. Kimball explains is this way:

“Dating, and especially steady dating in the early teens in most hazardous. It distorts the whole picture of life. It deprives you of worthwhile and rich experiences; it limits friendships; it reduces the acquaintances which can be so valuable in selecting a partner for time and eternity. There is definitely a time for the dance, for travel, for associations, for the date, and even for the steady date that will culminate in the romance which will take young people to the temple for eternal marriage. But, it is the timing that is so vital. It is wrong to do even the right things at the wrong time in the wrong place under the wrong circumstances” (Kimball, New Era, Nov. 1980).

Think of this season as High School for the rest of your life. There are classes you need to take, textbooks to read, lessons you can learn which will prepare you for college, having a job, and becoming more independent. Do you realize when you hold the For the Strength of Youth Pamphlet, that you are actually holding a “class” schedule? The principles outlined in the pamphlet are not meant to be a long list of hard tasks outlined in red no-no ink. They are actually “freshman” courses, designed to give you the tools you will need to graduate from life—with honors. Your course classes for youth include: Relationships with others, Personal integrity, Mental and Physical Health, and Media and Entertainment. In the For the Strength Youth Pamphlet, the first presidency puts it this way:

He wants all his children to return to live with him one day. However, he knows that only those who are worthy will be able to live with him. Standards help you know how well you are preparing to live with your Father in Heaven. Your entire lives on earth are intended to give you the opportunity to learn to choose good over evil, service over selfishness, kindness and thoughtfulness over self-indulgence and personal gratification. By comparing your behavior and thoughts with your Father's standards, you are in a better position to govern yourselves and make the right choices. God's commandments (standards) are constant, unwavering, and dependable. As you adhere to them, you will receive countless blessings from heaven—including the gift of eternal life.

The gift of eternal life—life with Heavenly Father, and our Savior, Jesus Christ. That is a pretty worthwhile graduation gift, don’t you think?

There are other course requirements that will help you enjoy this season of youth: The Holy Scriptures, regular Church attendance, actively participating in activities designed just-for-youth, are just a few of the school supplies available to help you learn all that you need to learn right now.

Despite these many resources available, being a young man or young woman can be difficult. Hey, being a person can be difficult! Add onto the regular trials of life all the trouble of teenagers, and it’s a wonder anyone makes it through alive. Waking up in the morning, going to school, and returning home in one piece is no easy task when you daily deal with pimples the size of raspberries, parents, three hundred and twenty-two pounds of homework, eighteen hours of after school activities, and a serious crush on the cutie in your geometry class. On top of these daily challenges, there are often other heavy burdens to carry: broken families, a sick loved one, a lost friendship, a hurting heart. It is easy to look ahead and feel like growing up is a good alternative to dealing with the pressures of daily life.

But remember! This time of your life is not simply a period of waiting. You are not just waiting for the zits to disappear, or for your homework to vanish on a cloud of dust, the day of your eighteenth birthday won’t magically change your life into a perfect, lilac-cover field of joy. “Youth is the season to set directions for life.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Youth is the Season,” New Era, Sept. 1988, 44). No, this is not a time of waiting, but rather it is a time of creating, of working, of deciding who you will be, where you will walk, and what you will become.

Hot Date Friday!

2008-09-26T20:40:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have been waiting...wait no more!

Here's a GORGEOUS dance picture of Brother McLay...

and the worst-ever dance photo of Sister McLay...

Coming Soon...

We answer a YSA dating question & give you an update on our At-Home-Homecoming.

Love to All! ~Sister McLay

Thought Bubble Thursday

2008-09-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

Are you having one of those days?

I am.

Nothing is going quite like it should. I'm tired.

To commemorate this nasty day, I thought I'd share...

~~~~~

My seven-step solution to kick "The Frump"

~~~~~

1. Grab a big bowl of popcorn.

2. Plop onto a comfy sofa and eat it for six minutes. Yes, only six.

3. After six minutes, call a friend (they might be having the same kind of day)

3. Say, "I know this sounds really wacky, but could I read a scripture to you?"

4. Read D&C 61:36

5. Ask them to tell you of a time when they felt the Lord 'in their midst.' Tell them of a time when you did.

6. Say "Thank You," then hang up the phone.

7. Throw away the popcorn, get up off the couch and get to work. Do your homework, help your mom, go for a jog, finish scouts or young women, visit someone who needs you. It doesn't matter what you do. Just do something good.

"...be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you" ~D&C 61:36

You. Are. Loved.

~Sister McLay

Anti-Wall Flower

2008-09-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I am passionate about high school dances because I was asked to so very few of them. Maybe I'm just a starry-eyed romantic (even now that I'm ancient-old and in my thirties.)

Whatever it is, I love dances. I just absolutely adore them. The dresses! The hair! The excitment of actually being asked and having plans and being on the arm of some wholesome hunk (or good-guy-friend. Equally wonderful!).

And so...I squealed with DELIGHT tonight when one of Brother McLay's students called to ask if we would host homecoming at our house this year.

You see, a few years ago in these parts, a group of LDS youth were fed up with the nastiness of school dances. So they decided to put on their own dance at a location of their choosing (usually a home of one of the boys, or...the seminary teachers home--HOORAY!). The tradition has carried on with some groups attending the school dances, and a few banding together to create a shindig of their very own. Hurrah! Next Friday, we will joyously don our sequined duds, and open up our basement to a few fine-looking couples for an evening of toe-tapping bliss. Won't that be fun?

In these parts, as well, some of the fine young gentlemen who are asking young ladies to the dance (Tangent: boys. ASK THE GIRLS. We don't care if you have to wear blue jeans and a scout-camp t-shirt to save your hard-earned cash--we just want a date. Seriously. It makes a girls MONTH to be asked to a dance. So, puh-lease ask. End tangent.) ask with all the fanfare of a fourth of july parade. And, the girls get to answer back creatively, too.

We recently recieved a question from one of these adorable young ladies, who was looking for a creative way to answer back. And so, in honor of Homecoming, we post a few ideas for asking & answer for you...

Hi McLay's! i am going crazy! I was asked to homecoming and i don't know how to say yes. I'm going to reply on his birthday and he asked me with a bear! AH! if you have any ideas could you send them to me? Thank you!

Oh, joyful question. There are so many ideas.Here are a few...

(The GOT-CA$H Option)-Build him a bear from Build-A-Bear. They have a voice option where you can record your voice & then put it inside the bear. You could record your answer & deliver it to him in the Build-A-Bear 'houses' that each new bear is tucked inside.

(The Oh-How-Cute Option) Make & decorate cupcakes for one of his classes. Have the teacher pass them out to him just like they used to do in Elementary School. Have one cupcake that was made just for him. In this one, bake a piece of paper that says "YES" inside the cupcake. To do this, just write it on a small piece of paper with permanent marker, fold it carefully into a small piece of tin foil--make sure you seal the edges really well- then pour half of the cupcake batter, place the little tag in the batter, the finish filling the cupcake cup. Bake as usual, frost as usual, and just remember which one is his.

(The Cheap & Easy Option) Get a box of Teddy Grahams crackers. Before giving it to him, carefully open the box and stick a note inside. Reseal the box, and wrap it up with a note. For instance: "Hoping Homecoming brings you a beary fun date."

(The 'If You Had Enough Time' Option) You know that book, "Going On A Bear Hunt?" Well...you could send him on a "bear hunt" for the answer, using the book text. Send him to different classrooms or places at school, looking for clues or send him to different people in the ward, etc. At the end of the hunt, leave a bag of cinnamon bears with a note that says, " Going to homecoming with you sounds like a 'beary' 'HOT' date. I'm in!" (

(The Quick-A-Roo Option) Leave a bag of gummy bears with the teachers in each of his classes. The teacher would give him the bag, and each bag would have a letter that spells out your answer. To stretch the answer to an all-day thing, spell out something other than "YES." Perhaps, "4 S-U-R-E" or "L-O-V-E T-O" or "Y-E-S-S-I-R" would work.

And now...two BONUS ideas from Brother McLay.

(And, yes, ladies. Boys will be boys)

Deliver a small plant to your date with a note that says: "I'd wet my plants to join you at the dance."
Slice several very small slits in a 50 pound bag of flour. Slip tiny pieces of (thick) paper into the flour, then carefully reseal. Leave all pieces of paper blank except for one, on which you'll write your answer. Deliver bag to date with a note that says, "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, this flour holds an answer that is meant just for you." Let the fun begin.

We want to hear from you!

How have you creatively asked or answered someone to a dance?

Post your ideas as a comment

Send them to us at

mclayfamily@msn.com

We'll keep post a list of your ideas throughout the week

~and~

Stay Tuned...

You might just see some BE-A-U-tiful dance pics of Brother & Sister McLay from way back when we were young'uns!

Happy Friday Night! We Love You!

~Sis. McLay

Thought Bubble Thursday

2008-09-18T06:08:00.000-07:00

“The Peaceable Things in Less Peaceful Times”

I recently reviewed some remarks given by President Henry B. Eyring in February 2003. At the time, he was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and was introducing the keynote speaker, Gordon B. Hinckley, at a fireside for Seminary and Institute teachers. His remarks are titled, “The Spirit Must Be Our Constant Companion” (An Evening With President Gordon B. Hinckley, 7 February 2003).

I was touched as I pondered the significance of the Holy Spirit in my life. In every role of my life—husband, father, Seminary teacher, bishopric member, son, brother, friend, etc.—the Spirit is essential. Without the Spirit, I am less effective—even unsuccessful. With the Spirit, I can do everything that God wants me to do, and I can do it in His way, and with His power. Speaking specifically to teachers of youth and young single adults, President Eyring said:

“…Knowing how to get the Spirit matters so much for us. What will keep our students pure and at peace in the world they face is more than knowing the gospel and the world of God. It is more than knowing the wonderful organization, the inspiring history, and the great leaders of the Church. They must choose obedience to the Lord’s commandments in the face of greater temptations and trials. They must do it out of faith in Jesus Christ. And that faith can only come through the witness of the Spirit.”

Truer words have never been spoken. We must live worthy so that we can have the Spirit as our constant companion. We must live in a manner that allows the teachings of the Savior to sink deep into our hearts. We must repent when we sin. Also, as President Eyring teaches, “it takes prayer offered in faith and it takes obedience to the commandments of God.”

The world today is rarely friendly toward the things of righteousness. Yet, we can live above the evil influences that would harm us. Indeed, as President Eyring teaches, as we live and work and obey we “will find that the Spirit is teaching [us] the peaceable things in less peaceful times.”

May we so live and be so blessed.

~Brother McLay

Marriage & Family Monday

2008-09-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

An {a}Typical Sunday at the McLay's

Our faithful & dedicated ward chorister wrangled our family into singing a special number in Sacrament meeting this morning. Despite a few minor quabbles (from parents and children) as to how we would actually pull said musical number off, it all came together nicely.

Our rendition of "Today While the Sun Shines" was made all the more enjoyable by the fact that 5-year-old, Jacob, has a tooth so loose, a light wind could blow it out of his mouth. I laughed during the entire sacrament meeting imagining him singing "today while the sun shines, work with a will--" and watching that tooth fly right out of his mouth. Thankfully, it remained intact, and we are still enjoying it's wild contortions as it hangs faithfully onto his pink gums.

After church, ring-leader, Rebecca, randomly placed an announcement in the hallway for her "LONGEST STORY Contest." Andrew printed off his classic 7-page ghost story, "The Chronicles of Clock Work Lane" (will post this sometime to show off our oldest's incredible writing talents). The twins, on the other hand (who had not a wing or a prayer) got some help from the clever Sister McLay, each writing really, really, really, really....long stories, and illustrating them with style.

Meanwhile, Andrew spends his evening doing {GASP} homework! (We're trying to get the 'homework on Saturday' habit ingrained in all children early, so as to make the teen years a bit more simple).

And...there is our Sunday. How was yours?

~Brother & Sister McLay

Forgive the Computer Issues

2008-09-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

It took a flooded basement, a shorted out telephone wire, and a good portion of our weekend to throw the first Fount Of Youth contest into a dither, but we're back on track now.

THANK YOU to those of you brave enough to share your dating ideas. We'd love to have your questions, and look forward to more giveaways in exchange for your great advice.

Without further adieu, we've chosen our contest winners! Congratulations to Aleisha and Chase for their thoughtful, well-articulated ideas for our dating dilemma.

Here are their responses...

Don't change what you're doing. Be a perfect gentleman and one day you will be blessed with a girl who is so glad you show such respect and such good manners. In the meantime, keep asking girls out and if they don't treat you right in return, simply look at it as a learning experience....that's what dating is anyway....and keep asking out the girls who appreciate your goodness. My guess is the girls rolling their eyes really do like your chivalry too. Who doesn't like being treated good? They just don't show it, and that's too bad. But we love nice boys!! Promise :D
~Aleisha

Be the best person you can be, you sound like a nice person and polite but you might be a little awkward. I have the same problem. What works for me is being myself and being confident in myself. And some girls are just too picky and judgmental, stay away from them! Ask people out who will accept who you really are, a good person. Also, the more you date, the less awkward you will get, so don't give up. Last of all, if there is something about yourself that even "accepting" girls don't like, change and make yourself a better person. However, if you are already a good guy, DO NOT make yourself a worse person just so the "judgmental" girls will have fun. Basically, Choose the right girls, stay righteous, be yourself and confident, and just have fun! ~Chase

Chase & Aleisha, email your mailing addresses to us at:

mclayfamily@msn.com

and we'll stick your T-shirts will be in the mail!

And...

We'd love to hear from the rest of you.

Please feel free to send along your dating dilemmas, mission announcements,and other thoughts or questions to us.

We Love You!

Brother & Sister McLay

mclayfamily@msn.com

Friday Manners

2008-09-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

Want to show your date that you're an attentive listener? Perk up your...your ears, sure. But even more importantly, your...eyes.

Eye contact on a date is a simple way to show your date you care. When you turn your attention from all of your surroundings, and zero in on your companion, you're able to focus on them. This is good for them, and even better for you. A good look in the eye will tell you alot about a person.

"In the scriptures, the eye is often used as a symbol of a person’s ability to receive the light of God. Symbolically, a person’s eye also shows spiritual condition and an understanding of the things of God.

The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes, Ps. 19: 8. ...The light of the body is the eye, Matt. 6: 22 (Luke 11: 34; 3 Ne. 13: 22; D&C 88: 67)...By the power of the Spirit our eyes were opened and our understandings enlightened, D&C 76: 12. The light is through him who enlighteneth your eyes, D&C 88: 11. If your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, D&C 88: 67. " (from: http://scriptures.lds.org/gs/e/45)

Do your date--and yourself--a favor, and look deeply into their eyes. You might just discover their soul.

Hot Date Idea!

2008-09-13T20:27:00.001-07:00

Our First Contest Extended!

2008-09-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

It occurred to us awfully late in the week that a good many of you want to get in on our contest, but can't leave a comment on the blogspot pages. NO WORRIES!

We've extended the deadline to tomorrow evening. Don't miss your chance to win one of two HOT EFY Counselor shirts.

To get in on the contest, simply email your answer to last Friday's Dating dilemma to Brother & Sister McLay at:

mclayfamily@msn.com

The Question:

My friends and I plan good, fun, group dates on lots of weekends. I try really hard to be a gentlemen to the young women I ask on the dates, but they sometimes seem unappreciative of the whole thing. When I opened the car door one time, my date rolled her eyes at her friend and giggled. And, sometimes I swear they'd rather talk to anyone else in the group but me. Girls always say they want a perfect gentlemen, but so many of them don't act like perfect ladies. How can I be a cool date without coming across as awkward or stiff or seeming strange?

We're excited to hear from you!

Our two favorite answers will be revealed tomorrow night...

Love,

Brother & Sister McLay

Thught Bubble Thursday

2008-09-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

Love, Bless, Do Good, and Pray....for Them?

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I was thinking about what happened on September 11, 2001. As I buttoned up my white shirt, tears began to well up in my eyes. I thought of the thousands who passed away that day, and the millions that were affected by those awful events. Then, I began thinking about the animosity, contention, and hatred that would lead to such horrific events.

I flashed back to a time when I was in Israel with my dear friend, Clark Anderson. We were searching for a meat market in the old city. We were lost and stopped to ask a man for directions. Initially, he was very friendly as he began to give directions in very broken English. Then he stopped, suddenly, and said, “You American?” We smiled and nodded—half expecting, I think, a high five or a ‘right on.” Instead, a disgusted look came to his face and he suddenly and hatefully said, “I kill your children! Go!” We stood stunned as he motioned for us to leave. I fought feelings of anger and pride as we walked away.

As I processed that experience, and as I stood pondered this morning, I was reminded of the words of our Savior, Jesus Christ. In Matthew 5:44, He taught:

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”

It’s not easy living a higher law. In fact, at times it is downright difficult. But I know that the teachings of Jesus our true. I took comfort in his words this morning. Remembering them gave me strength. So, instead of being angry…I offered a silent prayer. I know He heard me, and I felt His comforting spirit.

I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and testify that it is true!

Love,
Brother McLay

Tunes

2008-09-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed the power that music has over you? I mean, have you ever really noticed? For several weeks, I've made the switch from a peppy mingling of pop, classical and other fantastic tunes to 24/7 church music.

It's the most incredible thing.

The change in music has actually changed me. My thoughts are different. They are turned more often toward God. My counteance is different. I look people in the eye more often. I listen. My schedule is different. It's easier to let go of the things that don't matter when the things that really matter are running through my headphones, and into my, well....head.

That said, there is an incredible resource for FREE LDS music downloads that you might just love. They are songs written by Sally DeFord, a talented musician from Colorado Springs. On her website, she publishes free sheet music and oodles of free recordings just because she's that kind of a saint. To boot, our good friend (and immense talent and ravishingly beautiful gem of a gal and great cook), Becki Madsen, has recorded many of the songs.

You can download the songs here. Don't miss these tracks:

The Angels Came to Sing, by Becki Madsen

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, by Brady Lorenc or Heather Prusse

I Will Stand as A Witness of Christ, by Becki Madsen

If the Savior Stood Beside Me, by Becki Madsen

Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Unceasingly, by Becki Madsen

This Is How I Know, by Leilani Toloa Johnson

Whole Again, by Chad Neth (Seriously. Do NOT miss this one. It's AMAZING)

If you're looking for youth-oriented sheet music, the link is here. Sister DeFord has a lot of other music available on her site, as well. Just browse her site and be amazed. And...if you enjoy the site, you can contact her with a big THANK YOU through her website, too. She'd be delighted to hear from you.

Read All About It!

Click HERE to see some of Elder Packer's talk,

"Worthy Music, Worthy Thoughts"

New Era, Apr 2008, 6–11

Hast Thou Not Heard?

2008-09-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

NieNie and Me

For several days, I've been following the story of a young LDS couple from Arizona, Stephanie & Christian Nielson. They were in a private plane accident several weeks ago and both sustained severe burns to their bodies. (For more information, check here and here.) Their story, and their lives have deeply touched mine this week as I ponder their situation, and pray for them, and watch in wonder as their family picks up the pieces of horror, and turn them into something marvelous and inspiringly beautiful.

In turning my thoughts to their situation, I've thought a lot about the scripture posted above, found in Isaiah. As he teaches of the Atonement, Isaiah indicates that the Savior gives "beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning..." How can words begin to capture the immense gratitude I feel when I ponder the power of His eternal atonement in my mortal life? And yet, impossible as it is to understand, I know the transforming power of His atonement. I have felt it in my life. I have seen Him turn my sorrow, my ashes, my mourning into joy and praise and...beauty.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen quite eloquently testifies of this principle:

"Each of us will taste the bitter ashes of life, from sin and neglect to sorrow and disappointment. But the atonement of Christ can lift us up in beauty from our ashes on the wings of a sure promise of immortality and eternal life. He will thus lift us up, not only at the end of life, but in each day of our lives."

Do you think that you're too much of a weakling to access this power? Do you sometimes think your problems are too little--or too big--to hand them over to the Lord? Do you wonder if the Savior of the WHOLE WORLD could actually be aware of you? For those of us who wonder, who worry, who ask why me?, Isaiah boldly declares:

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

He is there. The Savior of the World is there for you. He is there for me. He is aware. He is waiting. He is wonderful.

May we invite Him into our ashes, and discover...beauty.

Music for this Message: Welcome Home by Shaun Goves

~Sister McLay

Marriage & Family Monday

2008-09-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

Saying I'm Sorry

Brother McLay says "I'm sorry."

Even when I'm red in the face. Even, sometimes, when he's red in the face. Even when it isn't his fault.

He's always looking for peace. Always willing to brush aside fault for forgiveness.

Isn't that a fine, fine thing to be married to?

I think so.

I think he's verrrrry fine.

~Sister McLay

Win! Win! Win!

2008-09-05T07:43:00.000-07:00

Sing a song for our first EVER fount of youth giveaway! Hooray!

Two lucky winners will recieve one of the above EFY counselor polo's from times past.

They're bright. They're bold. They're beautiful.

How to win...

Last week, we featured a YSA Hot Date Friday question. Today, there's one from the high school crowd. All we need you to do is....send along your best advice. Whether you're in high school, college, or long since turned gray, we'd love to hear from you. Post a comment with your advice and next Friday we'll reveal our two favorite answers to the question & send them one of these rock awesome polo shirts.

{and in case you're wondering...they are a guy's size Medium, so will fit boys and gals alike.}

the question:

Go ahead, make her weekend.

2008-09-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hot Date Friday!

2008-09-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

Just a quick dating tip today for the ladies:

Shoes + Date {should NOT} = Pain.

No matter HOW adorable you might look in those new heels. No matter how spiffily your outfit coordinates in the sassy toe-pinchers. No matter how modelesque you feel making your grand entrance on your tiptoes. Uncomfortable shoes are not for a date. Strap on something cozy and kind, and focus on your date. Not your toes. Because, after all...

Nice Time + Date {often} = Another Nice Date

...and happy feet.

How Can I Please the Lord?

2008-09-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have pondered one of my favorite Old Testament scriptures, Micah 6:8:

“He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

I first discovered this scripture as a missionary in Portugal. An excellent missionary, Elder Jason Smith, shared it with me and it has been with me ever since. The beauty of Micah’s words, to me, is found in their simplicity. In the preceding verses (6-7), he rhetorically asks the question “What can I do to please God?” He wonders if offerings of calves and rams, or ten thousands rivers of oil will please him. Or, what if he gave his firstborn—would that be enough? And then, in verse 8, he gives the answer to the question: HOW CAN I PLEASE THE LORD? His answer is threefold:

1) Do justly
2) Love mercy
3) Walk humbly with Him.

While there are several ways to liken this scripture unto us (see 1 Nephi 19:23), the heart of Micah’s counsel is summarized, for me, with three corresponding scriptures:

1) John 14:15—“If you love me, keep my commandments.” If we truly love the Lord, we will be obedient. We will do right by Him.
2) 1 Nephi 1:20—“…the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom He hath chosen....” There are at least two ways to “love mercy,” 1) We can love that we receive mercy (which is easy for most of us to do), and 2) we can learn to love to SHOW mercy to others (something that requires much greater effort).
3) Moses 7:69—“And Enoch and all his people walked with God….” I know that it is possible to walk with God. Only a humble person would choose to walk with Him. And, walking with Him helps us to remain humble!

I am grateful beyond words for the scriptures. With all my heart, I love them. We are blessed to have them in our lives! I invite you to join me in daily seeking to follow the counsel of Micah. I know the Lord lives and that He loves us. Let’s please and praise Him every day!

Marriage & Family Monday

2008-09-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

“Hansel reached up above, and broke off a little of the roof to try how it tasted, and Gretel leant against the window and nibbled at the panes.
Suddenly the door opened, and a woman as old as the hills…came creeping out. "Oh, you dear children, who has brought you here? Do come in, and stay with me. No harm shall happen to you." She took them both by the hand, and led them into her little house. Then good food was set before them, milk and pancakes, with sugar, apples, and nuts. Afterwards two pretty little beds were covered with clean white linen, and Hansel and Gretel lay down in them, and thought they were in heaven.

–Hansel & Gretel, by The Grimm Brothers. English Translation by Margaret Hunt

It was during a bedtime retelling of Hansel & Gretel when I realized…mother’s are conspicuously absent from Fairy Tales. Sleeping Beauty is raised by fairies, Cinderella lives with her horrid stepmother, Snow White is left with the wicked-mirror witch, and, of course, Hansel and Gretel’s mother has mysteriously disappeared and left them a nightmare of a woman—a wife who convinces their father to abandon his children in the middle of the woods.
I have a theory about this.

I think these mothers ARE in the story. Not in the background, or as heavenly apparitions in whimsical dreams. They are the wicked witches. I know this because I am one.

I didn’t start off to become a wicked witch. In fact, I once planned on being a perfect princess, and had high expectations for my royal offspring. I would speak to them only in angelic, singing tones. I would lead them joyfully in educational activities within the walls of our immaculately decorated castle, and would gleefully feed them regularly scheduled, green-colored vegetables three times a day.

My transformation from noblewoman to wart-nosed crone is chronicled in the story of Hansel and Gretel. It begins when my firstborn is six months old, and I find that I have an uncontrollable desire to eat him up. This, apparently, is the first stage of witchiness: a desire to eat little children, and I get a bad case of it. My little one is too cute. Absolutely edible. He has cast a spell over me, and I hypnotically forget about feeding him vegetables, and find much more joy baking cupcakes and cookies for him. This is the second stage of witch-hood: the desire to fatten up my babes.

As more children arrive, I complete my transformation into a wicked witch. I give up my dream of a pristine castle in favor of a charming little gingerbread cottage—which is perfectly child-proofed, and fantastically kid-friendly. Color-coordinated decorations come down, and homemade popcorn strings & peppermint ropes line the house. I stock up on Valentine candy, buy the biggest chocolate bunnies for Easter, and pride myself in the best treats for Halloween. So much for green vegetables.

The days fly by, and I begin to realize how much I have to teach these little ones. I fire up the oven and show them how to cook Grandma’s best oatmeal cookies. I pull out the knitting needles and attempt a sewing lesson or two. Together, we venture into the world that lies outside our front door and explore it with wide-eyed excitement.

Some days are less magical. After all, I am a wicked witch. When the cottage needs tidying, I work my children to the bone. I relax in my licorice rocking chair as they sweep. I brew a kettle of tea as they scrub their soiled frocks by hand. I cackle as they mop the muddy floors. A little girl in my care sometimes screams that I am the “meanest, most terrible witch in the world.” I tell her to get cleaning, or I’ll put her in her in the bedroom for a good, old-fashioned time-out, and lick a lollipop as I await her punishment to be complete. She will tell you…I am a very wicked witch.

During these days, I fear my fingers will become permanently crooked, and my voice will always call out cruel orders (like put your dirty dishes in the sink, or make your bed). Though, as the day closes, I remember how delicious that little girl is. I tuck her into her little wooden bed, and soothe her to sleep with a song. We witches work hard to keep little children around until the time comes when they are plumped and ready for the outside world. I’d like to keep this one around a bit longer.

I suppose whether I like it or not, the day will come when my children will find a way to sneak away from me. That seems to be the familiar chant from the old witches, “Enjoy them while they are little, they grow up too fast.”

I sit back at the dinner table, and silently observe their fat fingers reaching for slimy cups of chocolate milk, or wiping spaghetti stains on their frilly white smocks—uh, I mean, mud-covered t-shirts. I walk quietly behind them as we head into our enchanted forest for an afternoon walk, and wonder why an old witch like me can’t cast a spell to make time pass just a bit more slowly. I capture the funny faces, silly phrases, and fleeting kisses and hold them in my hand—a broom that sweeps away some sadness, for I weep when I realize that these moments will be gone so soon.

After all, I’ve read the story. I know Hansel and Gretel soon escape the gingerbread cottage, and cook up the wicked witch. She is pulled out of the oven by some passerby, a crisp wafer cookie, baked to perfection.

I know my fate is sealed. Once all the cooking, and cleaning, and teaching is done, my children will leave me for adventures of their own, taking the memories we’ve made as a guide for their new paths. And, you know, I think I can live with that. After all, they learned to bake cookies to perfection, and I’ll be a sweet, gingerbread sort of memory—which is much better than those green-colored vegetable ones from my once-upon-a-time princess days.

And so, off to tend to my captives, I hear them nibbling at the house. Perhaps, I will spend the afternoon nibbling on them. After all, wicked witches do so like to eat little children…especially their own.

~Sister McLay

Words for the Weekend

2008-08-29T20:17:00.000-07:00

Sunday: Holy Day

The Sabbath is a holy day in which to do worthy and holy things. Abstinence from work and recreation is important, but insufficient. The Sabbath calls for constructive thoughts and acts, and if one merely lounges about doing nothing on the Sabbath, he is breaking it. To observe [the Sabbath]:

· one will be on his knees in prayer
· preparing lessons
· studying the gospel
· meditating
· visiting the ill and distressed
· writing letters to missionaries
· taking a nap
· reading wholesome material
· attending all the meetings of that day at which he is expected.
· Take time [on the Sabbath] to be together as families to converse with one another
· to study the scriptures
· to visit friends, relatives, and the sick and lonely
· work on your journals and genealogy
· The Sabbath is a day on which to take inventory—to analyze our weaknesses, to confess our sins to our associates and our Lord
· It is a day on which to fast in “sackcloth and ashes.”
· It is a day on which to read good books
· a day to contemplate and ponder
· a day to study lessons for priesthood and auxiliary organizations
· a day to study the scriptures and to prepare sermons
· a day to nap and rest and relax
· a day to visit the sick
· a day to preach the gospel
· a day to proselyte
· a day to visit quietly with the family and get acquainted with our children
· a day for proper courting
· a day to do good
· a day to drink at the fountain of knowledge and of instruction
· a day to seek forgiveness of our sins
· a day for the enrichment of our spirit and our soul
· a day to restore us to our spiritual stature
· a day to partake of the emblems of [the Lord’s] sacrifice and atonement
· a day to contemplate the glories of the gospel and of the eternal realms
· a day to climb high on the upward path toward our Heavenly Father

-Pres. Spencer W. Kimball
“Chapter 16: The Sabbath—A Delight,”

Teachings of Presidents of the Church:

Spencer W. Kimball, (2006),165–77

Time for Courting

2008-08-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

Shortly after returning from my mission (Portugal Lisbon North, 1992-1994), my father sat me down for a heart-to-heart talk on dating. I only remember snippets of our conversation, as well as the feelings it left with me. One of the things I most remember is when my dad said, “Son, you are no longer in the dating game. Now, you are COURTING!” I think my first thought was, “Alright, dad, let’s break out the horse and buggy...I mean, who says ‘courting’ anymore!?”

He went on to explain to me that while in high school, I was dating for fun and for the lessons that can be learned in that environment. Now, he said, it’s time to get serious. “With your mission behind you, it’s time to look for an eternal companion; someone with whom you will spend the rest of your life and all eternity.” This, he explained, begins with dating but should eventually lead to courtship.

My dad gave me some more advice (some of it very specific), and I did my best to listen and to take it in. The counsel from my mission president, Gordon C. Peters, to prayerfully pursue the course of marriage and thereby fulfill my priesthood duty was still ringing in my ears. I knew I had work to do, and yet I still felt very awkward, socially. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go out on dates, let alone COURT someone!

This is why I felt a quite uncomfortable when my dad then told me that he had set me up with one of his former students for the coming weekend! My first post-mission date is going to be a blind date!? Well, I went on that date (which is another story for another time), and I didn’t die. I didn’t marry that girl, either. (Frankly, I believe I acted so ill at ease that she likely would not have accepted a second date…even if I had mustered the courage to ask!) But, I began the learning process; I began to change my focus from ‘hanging out’ to dating that leads to courting. There is a BIG difference.

In time, I began to feel more adjusted socially, and I met and courted some remarkable young women. I felt the Spirit guide me as I prayerfully made the most important decision of my life, and I was eventually led to Brooke Ann Ballif. In my personal journal, on Christmas Day in 1995, I recorded the following just a few days after meeting Brooke:

“I need to end this entry right now—it’s time for cake and ice cream. Before I close, however, I want to write down the person who most inspired this entry. Her name is Brooke—Brooke Ballif. I met her last week, and I can’t stop thinking about her. She is amazing. She is so kind, humble, intelligent, beautiful, funny, and Christ-like. She has really made an impression on me, and it’s one that I don’t think will wear off soon. I have dated several girls in the last little while, but none have made an impact on me like Brooke. I’m anxious to see what the future holds. I think she might be an answer to my prayers.”

The rest, as they say, is history. But ours is a history in the making. A history which, in at least in one sense, all started with some proper courting.

To the post-mission men, may I suggest trying your hand at courting. (No, I do not mean playing basketball—although I enjoy that, too.) In the words of Elder Oaks, “Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up” (CES Fireside for Young Adults, May 1, 2005). To the young single adult women, be patient with the men. Live worthy of a temple marriage, be prayerful, and don’t lose faith. As President Hinckley has said, “It all works out….It will all work out” (Jordan Utah South Regional Conference, Priesthood Session, 1 Mar. 1997).

Love,
Brother McLay

Hot Date Friday

2008-08-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

Here's our Young Single Adult (YSA) question of the week.

If you have a dating dilemma, be sure to send it into Fount of Youth for a bit of unbeatable, sage advice!

It seems that young men (ages 22+) have forgotten how to go on a DATE for fun. They have fun going golfing or to movies, but it's with each other on what we sisters affectionately term "man dates." That said, what do I do with a 22-year-old socially awkward (in the most absolutely adorable way), workaholic ward clerk who claims he doesn't have time for anything but "man dates" with his best friend?

Signed, Waiting for a "Woman" Date

Dear Waiting,

There are all sorts of things I might say to the men. Okay, there is just one. Gals want to date. Plan a date. Ask a girl. Watch the fireworks (or at least THE FUN) fly.

That said, since you are asking what YOU as a woman can do, there are two options.

Number one. You've gotta send the signals more clearly. If you've detected the slightest hint of interest on his part, then the ball is in your court. Which means, you've gotta get yourself in the game. You know how they start professional ball games? The players don't sneak onto the court. They don't stand behind the basket and play "Is he looking at me?" No way. They arrive with fanfare. They state their names. They come to play, and they play well. Too many ladies enter the court with the presence of an amateur ballet understudy. They wait demurely offstage for a cue, and wonder why they haven't been motioned on court by the coach. In the meantime, everyone on the court is trying to understand what in the world the pink-toed ballerina is doing there, just a-waitin' in the wings of the arena.

The point is, you can't just sit there and wait for him to do everything, and you definitely can't pretend like your playing by dancing a lone ditty in the middle of the court. You've got to get in the game. State your name and get on the court. Speak the language of the sport. Talk the talk. And, in case you were wondering, talking the talk sounds like this: "Hey, you're going bowling with your friends this weekend? Do you have room for a girl in your plans? I'd love to come. " It does NOT sound like this, "Oh, Bowling with your friends? That sounds nice." Puh-lease don't make those poor boys decipher the 'signals' you are so unclearly sending. Save them the headache of translation. Speak their language. Show up to the game and tell them you want to play.

Number Two. You've gotta read the signals more clearly. If you've made a clear move, and the darling boy isn't interested, then let him go. That's it. He just wasn't interested or the timing isn't right or something of the sort. Go gracefully. Let him go gracefully. And get yourself back in the game. After all, there's a whole court of players looking for someone great like you to be on their team.

~Sister McLay

Called to Serve: Elder Stamp

2008-08-28T15:03:00.001-07:00

Our AMAZING 2008 EFY participant, Megan Jolynn Sumbot writes about what happened after saying goodbye to her friend, Elder Benton Stamp as he left for his mission:

"I turned on my I-pod and was listening to music...the first song that came on was by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It was the battle hymn of the republic, Benton's favorite hymn. As I listened to the words my heart filled with this undescribable JOY! This image popped into my mind of Benton serving the Lord with his black suit and name tag. He was spreading the gospel. The pain in my heart was not gone but at the same time as I was hurting I felt this amazing joy. I felt like I was just beaming like a sun beam. It was such an undesribable feeling I wish I could put it into words better....I am so proud of him!"

We are too! Thank you for serving the Lord, Benton. May you be blessed throughout these next two years and forever!

We want to hear from you!

Send your mission calls, stories & photos to mclayfamily@msn.com

And...

Got a Dating Dilemma?

Leave Us a Comment and We'll Answer it.
After all, tomorrow is Hot Date Friday. Yahoo!

Go Clean Your Room!

2008-08-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God. ~D&C 88:119

After painting our house one day, Brother McLay put everything in our daughter's room back...just-so. Our daughter Alyssa was thrilled. "Oh! Mom! I love it when it's empty like this." The funniest thing happens when you clean your room, your locker, your desk...you sometimes find that you've been able to get your thoughts in order, work out your worries, and free up your concerns, too.

So, sponsored by mom's around the world, Sister McLay's Thought Bubble Thursday is this...

Clean Your Room. You never know what you'll find.

Love you!

~Sister McLay

Welcome to Fount of Youth!

2008-08-26T22:51:00.001-07:00

As my wife I excitedly embark on this blogging adventure, and before I dive in, I desire to express my gratitude for several things. I am grateful to my wife for coming up with this idea and for creating this blog! She is my best friend and the love of my life.

I am grateful for the remarkable technology that allows us to connect with so many people. We have long wondered, pondered, and even prayed about how we could better stay in touch with the youth and young single adults we meet (and even those we have not yet met, but would like to), and we feel that this blog can help us accomplish this.

I am grateful for YOU—the youth of the Church. You inspire me. You keep me young. Indeed, in many ways, my connection to you is a ‘Fount of Youth.’ I am honored to work with you and to know you. And I love you.

Above all, I am grateful to my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I know everything good in me and in my life are gifts from above. So…here we go! Let the blogging begin!

With love,

Brother McLay

Newsflash(es)!

2008-08-26T15:59:00.000-07:00

Click on the graphic above for the latest Fount of Youth news

Anyone Need a Physician?

2008-08-26T15:39:00.000-07:00

Recently, the McLay’s have spent several hours in Emergency Rooms and Urgent Care medical facilities. In fact, in less than one month, we’ve taken advantage of these resources three times! Two of these visits were for our youngest son, Jacob (who currently holds the record among our children for hospital visits); the other visit was for oldest daughter, Rebecca.

Jacob has become frighteningly accustomed to these visits. At one point while he was awaiting staples in his head (the second time for this remedy), I commented that some blood was on his hospital pillow. He popped up, turned around, saw the blood and said, “Awwwwesome!”

A minute later he said, “Dad, usually when I come to these places…” which, by itself, is a scary phrase for a child to make, “…they give me a bracelet with my name on it.” Just as he finished, a nurse came in with his ID bracelet. An enormous smile came to his face as she placed in on his wrist. As she left, he looked at me and held up his adorned arm like a trophy!

Sometimes, however, the pain is almost more than a child (or their parents) can bear. When Jacob went the ER on August 11, he was in excruciating pain. In the picture, you can see Sister McLay attempting to comfort (and distract) him from the pain he felt. Rebecca also went to the urgent care with immense anxiety. The pain of her deeply cut toe was present, but the possibility of having to get a shot and stitches terrified her. In fact, the anxiety of what might happen seemed to far outweigh the pain of the injury. She was significantly comforted when the doctor indicated that there would be no shot or stitches, but glue, a bandage, and a walking boot. Jacob, too, was relieved when a few hours later (and after a relatively simple remedy) the pain in his belly departed.

During a recent Seminary devotional, I was reminded of these recent encounters with doctors and nurses when Josh, one of my students, shared the following teaching of the Savior:

“…They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick” (Matthew 9:12).

I recalled the circumstances behind this statement. The Savior was eating with publicans and sinners, and when the Pharisees saw this, they wondered why Jesus would do such a thing (see Matthew 9:10-11). His response, quoted above, struck me. What a great answer! What a powerful statement of truth!

Then, days later in a Bishopric meeting, I had an epiphany (i.e. a sudden revelation of truth inspired by a seemingly insignificant incident). It was simply this: I am sick. This thought and its accompanying feelings came to me very quietly through the still, small voice of the Spirit. It was a simple, yet piercing (see D&C 85:6) reminder of my mortal condition and my absolute dependency on the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

As parents, it’s hard to see your children suffer. In fact, we sorrow when they sorrow. We feel their pain and often wish we could take it from them—but we cannot. Doctors, nurses, medication, bandages, and time can help—but, none of these things entirely erases the pain or altogether alleviates the suffering. In a like manner, parents and family members and leaders feel pain when those we love commit sin. We feel it when we ourselves commit sin. And yet, as with physical pain, we can only help one another with varying degrees of efficiency, but never completely.

It is my humble opinion that there is only One who can take care of it all. Only One who can help us completely make sense of the pain, sorrow, and suffering that each of us encounter. Only One who, eventually and in His way and with His power, will make it all go away. Only one who ‘feels our pain’—who knows exactly what we’re going through. Only Jesus.

So, again I ask: Does anyone need a physician? I do. I need THE Physician—the only ‘Healthcare Professional’ who can meet ALL of my needs. I need the Savior. Yes, I need Jesus.

How I love Him. And I bare my testimony of His divinity and His grace. He is the Promised Messiah. He lives. He loves. He heals. And He will come again. Until then, may we bring our burdens to Him and allow Him to be our Healer—to be our Physician.

~Brother McLay

Marriage & Family Monday

2008-08-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, as I walked our children home from school, our 5-year-old daughter, Alyssa saw the Ice Cream Truck parked in our path. She sighed.

"It would be good if they just gave us an ice cream."

I nodded.

I looked down at her and could tell...an idea had just popped into her head and her little wheel-o'-excitement was a-turnin' away, "If Dad was an Ice Cream Man, he would be a weally--WEALLY NICE ONE!"

Now, this comment hooked me. I just had to know more about what she was thinking, "Oh! So, how you know that dad would be a really nice Ice Cream Man?"

"Oh," she quickly answered, "because he's always doing fun and nice stuff for us and our fwends. And, he would just give us fwee popscicles if we just asked."

We walked in silence for a few steps. I was impressed by her tender comment. I thought, Wow. I did a really good job marrying this nice daddy of hers (I most definitely did.) I also marveled for a moment at insightful little children can be.

Suddenly, Alyssa perked up again, "Mom? Do ice cream trucks drive to China?"

~Sister McLay

No Day At the Beach

2008-08-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

Brother McLay and I love being parents. We adore our children. We love spending time with them. We learn from them all the time. We have fun--lots of fun--being their parents.

That said, It's not always easy being a parent. Really. It's no day at the beach.

Right now you might be rolling your eyes, thinking, "Ha! That's nothing. You should try having a parent."

Well, that's hard, too. We've been there. But now that Brother McLay and I are parents, we get to see the other side of the coin, too.

Ephesians 6:1-2 read, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother (which is the first commandment..."

Commandment. Honoring your parents is a commandment. (SELF STUDY: Look up the word HONOR in the dictionary. What exactly does it mean to honor your parents? Look particularly at the first definition on dictionary.com: honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions) Why is honoring your parents a commandment? Well....because, it doesn't always come naturally. The Lord knows this, so he teaches us--and YOU--what our role as children should be, no matter what our parents are like.

I ran into one of Brother McLay's seminary students at the park the other day. She is an incredible young woman. Just as beautiful and incredible and lovely as young women come. She expressed some frustrations she'd been having with her mom. We chatted about her situation until I had to leave (in other words: stop my children from hanging off the monkey bars, like...um...monkeys.) I gave her a quick hug and waved good-bye.

"Be patient with your mom," I said as I walked away, "She's doing her best." (Because, after all...I'm a mom and I'd want my kids to be patient with me)

I then felt impressed to add, "Which is not to say it is THE BEST, but it's her best." (Because, after all, I'm a mom and I know we moms really do try our best but sometimes don't do it very well.)

Let's now go back and finish that scripture in Ephesians 6:2. It says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother (which is the first commandment...with promise.)"

What is this promise? The FIRST promise given with a commandment? You'll find it in Exodus 20:12 and it says, "that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord God giveth thee." Some people joke that the promise is your days will be long. But, if you read it carefully, the promise is your days will be long in the land. Crossreference it, and you'll learn that the land here is the promised land. Honor your parents, and your days will be long in the promised land.

It is not coincidence that the first commandment to have a promise attached to it is the commandment to honor your father and mother. Instead, here is a beautiful reminder to us that the Lord knows. He knows how difficult it is to be a child. He knows what kind of humility it takes to be teachable, to learn the lessons of youth, to honor a mother who is just trying her best. He knows. And, so He gives you a clear and blessed promise for your obedience.

With that said, we invite you to take a vacation this weekend from eye-rolling, griping and whining about your parents. Honor them. Love them. And let the promised blessings come.

Hot Date Friday!

2008-08-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

Whooty Whoo! The weekend has finally arrived. Hopefully you're looking forward to a few well-planned, cheap-but-fun group dates.

In anticipation of this mighty event, let's chat CELL PHONES.

There is one basic law-of-the-land for cell phone use during a date: DON'T.

Young Women. If your parents have asked you to take a cell phone on your date, in case of emergency, then you may use it IN CASE OF EMERGENCY. Otherwise, you're going to turn that little puppy on vibrate, and turn your attention to the handsome and thoughtful gentleman who has planned a fun evening JUST FOR YOU. On Vibrate!? Gasp! But, What if..? Nope. No what if's. Tuck your cell safely inside your purse, only to be seen by human eyes if (a) there is a call from your parents or (b) there is an EMERGENCY. And, ladies, the following absurd situations do not constitute emergencies:

Your very-best-friend-in-the-wide-universe is calling to let you know what color the grape Kool-aid actually turned her hair (Have no fear. Her hair will still be that same, cosmic color of blue-violet in the morning)

You get the sudden inspiration to share your phone-answering gifts. Look how many friends I have! See how many phone calls I can giggle about in a ten-minute period! (Wrong-o chica. How 'bout you use those ten minutes to show your fine gentleman just how talented a conversationalist you are by chatting with HIM...'So, Hank, do you always wear stripes and checks together? Tres chic!').

Your date has exited the car to check on restaurant reservations. Remember ladies, the dear boy is doing his best to entertain you. This is NOT the time to whip out the cell phone. Please, please, puh-lease NO tattling on him to the posse of girlfriends waiting to hear your greasy gossip (Instead, use that quiet moment in the car as an opportunity to be nice. Think up three compliments for your date and share them with him when he returns).

Young Men. All above rules apply to you, too. Though, there are a few exceptions. If you are running late...use the cell phone. If you need directions to your destination...use the cell phone. If dinner costs more than the $10 you made mowing lawns this week...well...you're gonna need more than a cell phone. Anyhow, the idea for you gentlemen is this: keep your cell phone accessible. Plop it in your pocket, turn it to vibrate, and use it with discretion. Should a situation arise where a quick call will allow you to take better care of your adorable date, then use it. Otherwise, tuck it away and no talky, no talky.

Okay, one more time, in a nutshell...There is a time and a place for cell phones. And there is a time and a place for dating. Rarely will those two entities ever cross orbits.

Ultimately, putting away your cell phone allows you to be a more thoughtful companion. Be respectful to your date. Give them your time and attention and you may just find you've made a great friend by date's end.

The Best Laid Plans

2008-08-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

The best laid schemes of mice and men, Go often askew... and that's...o.k.

-Quote by Robert Burns & Sister McLay

Do you have plans? I have plans. A lot of plans. My calendar is chock full of them. A box on paper full of things that must be done on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. But I've got other plans, too. These ones aren't penciled into the tidy squares of my daytimes. These are the big plans. Mostly they are quiet ideas I've conjured up and tucked somewhere near the back lobe of my brain. Ideas like: "I plan to one day be a mom twho never raises her voice and always wears shining, silver jewelry with immense style." or "I plan to live in an ivy-covered cottage on Prince Edward Island and spend my days reading classic literature." Don't I have such rosy, rosy plans? And, there's more where those came from.

Sometimes we get so busy dreaming about the amazing people we'll one day become that we forget to see all of the little ways the Lord is trying to mold us...today.

Alma 34:38 begins, "that ye contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye recieve it..." It's easy to contend--to fight--against the Holy Ghost when you're in the middle of making big plans for yourself. However, this scripture entreats us to stop putting up a fight, and to recieve the Holy Ghost. This means:

Making our plans with a Companion who see the big picture. The eternal one.
Opening our minds, and hearts, and calendars to the quiet, sometimes unexpected, whisperings of the Holy Ghost.
Writing our plans with our pencil and Heavenly Father's divine hand.
Rewriting our plans using Heavenly Father's remarkably all-knowing editing program.
Trusting that God sees not only what we want to be--but all that we can become.

...But that ye recieve it...and live in thanksgiving daily for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you...

I will likely never become the dainty, style-infested lady I'd imagined in my starry-eyed plan for life. But, I do know--as I 'contend no more' against the unique plans God has prepared-that he will lead me into paths made perfect...and made perfect just for me.